On January 21, 2013, I published the following on FaceBook.
Well, I did it. I finished writing my novel, "The World's Greatest Chocolate-Covered Pork Chops," for middle-grade readers, complete as of this morning. I feel proud for having finished such a big task. I couldn't have done it without the help of my lovely wife, Katie.
For my friends who want to write a novel but aren't sure how, here is a step by step guide:
1. Start writing a novel.
2. Decide the novel is crap. Give up.
3. Do something else for two months.
4. One morning, read what you had written. Find yourself enjoying the story immensely. Realize that what you had written is actually quite good. Great, in fact. So great that you wonder why you ever thought it was crap!
5. Resume writing the novel.
6. Decide the novel is crap. Give up.
7. Start writing another novel. Realize that a lot of work lies ahead and you've already done so much work on the first novel. Re-read first novel. Find yourself enjoying the story immensely. Realize that what you have written is actually quite good. Great, in fact. So great that you wonder why you ever thought it was crap!
8. Continue writing novel. Get stuck on something.
9. Go out to dinner with wife. Discuss novel with wife and realize that the solution to what you were stuck on is quite simple, actually.
10. Continue writing.
Repeat steps as necessary until novel is finished.
4.5 years later, my novel is on bookshelves and en route to people's houses. Whoa. (Thank you, Lord.) And whoa.
Thanks to my publicist, Amy Goppert, for the great photo.